I woke up to the news that my beautiful Grandma Lettie passed away in the night last night. She had been battling gall bladder cancer for the past year. She was diagnosed in July of 2010 and it was a huge and devastating shock to our family. After an unsuccessful surgery to try to remove the tumor last year they decided to do radiation and chemotherapy. It did help shrink the tumor and doctors recently decided to take another shot at removing the tumor. Again it was unsuccessful due to its location near her vena cava. She could no longer get radiation and her body could no longer withstand the chemo. Her health diminished very quickly with the cease in treatment.
I somewhat came to terms that my grandma was gone in December of last year. My dad and I came down to spend her birthday with her and it really was a beautiful thing. The doctors said she wouldn't live past three months of July, so to spend that birthday with her was a very special thing. However even though her treatment was making progress and she was still here I could still see the pain. It is not easy watching someone you love so much suffering. That has been the worst thing of this whole experience. She was feeling so sick and in a lot of abdominal pain. If you knew my grandma you knew she loved to laugh, eat and just enjoy her children and grandchildren with smothering us with hugs and kisses and individual attention. Unfortunately the cancer this past year and half or so had robbed her of her favorite joys.
When my dad called me this morning and told me she passed I felt peace and comfort. I was still a little shocked because it has been news we have been waiting to hear for a long time. The anticipation of the inevitable was finally over. And I know that my grandma Lettie is her loving and happy self in heaven. She taught me a lot about faith my whole life. She was a devout Catholic and I grew up learning about God, Jesus, saints and angels. She always had these cards with scripture and my favorite was a picture she had of two little kids (a boy and a girl) walking across a bridge with a HUGE guardian angel protecting them. My favorite thing about my grandma's faith is that she was not prejudice with the Christianity denominations. She loved her Catholic mass but she also loved to go to Reality and hear pastor Britt speak and went to Harvest with my aunts in Riverside. She always taught us that God is the same but we all grow up with our own traditions of worshiping hm. Gosh she was so amazing.
When she came to Carpinteria to visit us growing up Joey and I would be so happy and excited. We knew we were going to feel very special for the weekend. She had a way of making you feel like you are the most important and special person in the world. We had a tradition where we would wake her up at 6am when she spent the night and she would take us to Tyler's donuts and we would each get a donut and hot chocolate. We would go out to Jelly Bowl and sit on the log that sits on the bluffs over looking the ocean. She always told me and Joey that when she passed away one day when we were much older that she wanted her ashes spread on that beach... I really hope we can fulfill that wish for her.
2010 was a horrible year for our family. Its the year my parents split up, my grandma got sick and diagnosed with cancer and at that same time JP and I miscarried our first child. I refuse to see this year as anything but a blessing. This year 2011 is the year that my grandma went to heaven and no longer has to suffer and its the year I will be giving birth to our first daughter who is named Hope Leticia in honor of her great grandmother Lettie.
Grandma i will honor you by raising Hope the exact way you raised my dad, aunts, uncles and us grandchildren. And she will grow up hearing about her great grandma Lettie who wanted to meet her so bad. The most beautiful and incredible woman anyone has ever known.
Very Powerful... and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteGod Speed Lettie :)