Since living here in San Luis Obispo my life has changed a lot. I have really started getting a move on in this thing called life. If you read my last post you will know what I was consumed with the first few months but since then I have really cracked down on figuring out what I want to do with my life here.
My husband has a great job that he loves and that supports all of our means, we are truly blessed. However it is not my personality to sit around and just reap my husband benefits. I have so many interests and so many dreams and I'm just trying to figure out how to tie them together to make some sort of sense...
I decided to take an entry level position in a resort even though I had gone to school and passed a program AND passed a state board... crazy I know. All I know is when you are fresh out of school and are new in a field you tend to doubt yourself. All I was filled with was doubt... Nobody is going to hire me. I have no clientele and I am new to an industry that is filled with knowledge....
I figured I will never make it in the industry I chose so may as well do something that doesn't matter and fill myself with more school. So now I find myself working full time while taking 4 classes of general ed online... Not smart.
Don't get me wrong, I KNOW taking school all the way is very smart, but there is no shame in pacing yourself. Every bodies situations are different in life, we all grow up differently. I grew up being understanding that I need to pay my own way once your 18 and well there is no way I could have put myself through a university when I was 18.
Unlike most 19 year olds I got married to a man who is willing to sacrifice his body and his young adult life to take care of his lady... lol I know I get some credit though too. I work hard as a wife and we really make a great team.
Long story short I evaluated my current situation. Too many classes and a full time dead end job. I needed to go after my dream and focus on my career that is right in front of me right now. I was hired into a small skin care salon and I couldn't be happier. I will continue to take college classes while I figure out what major can take me further in my chosen career but maybe one or two at a time ;)
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Starting Over after miscarriage...
This year has been an insanely weird year...
I wont go into the drama that doesnt involve me directly but does affect me but here are things I am willing to share...
JP and I moved to San Luis Obispo in May of this year. We are getting settled in and are really loving the area... It was a definite rocky start however...
In late May I took a pregnancy test for the heck of it because one was lying around and to my surprise it came up with one scary word... Pregnant.
I had the strangest reaction. I had taken quite a few of these things but it has never said this before. I was kind of shocked and not in a good way, but I quickly got over it once I started telling people and getting it off my chest. I took two more and they were negative... I was super confused.
So I went to the doctor and it was confirmed that I after all WAS pregnant and due in January... It started to sink in and I was starting to think about names and get excited. We bought baby books and reading together what was going on each week in the pregnancy. We decided if it was a boy with would be Anthony Elijah and if it were a girl Madyson Paige..
Everything seemed to be going great until 4th of July. I was at my dads house minding my own business, went for one of my normal million pee breaks and there it was.. a streak of blood... This is not a comfortable sight when you are expecting at all. I tried to stay positive although I couldn't stop crying, deep down I knew... Our doctors appt. was in a few days and of all weekends Monday was a holiday, ugh! My OB tried to keep me calm and explain to me bleeding can be very normal blah blah but she couldn't find a heart beat and I was supposed to be 11 weeks. I was sent for an emergency ultra sound and our worst fear was confirmed... The baby only "developed" i hate these terms, to 6 weeks. I had a missed miscarriage because I carried until 11 weeks... Over a month I had a failed pregnancy and had no idea.
So I went from being freaked out about my pregnancy to being ecstatic all the way to devastated in a few short months. I drew comfort from other women who had gone through it and had no words of wisdom to pass down. There is nothing anybody can do or say, its a life that ended before it began and its a part of you. Its hard to explain and its something I don't think I will ever get over... But although I wont get over it, I have learned and overcame it.. if that makes sense.
Because I was so early its really hard for your partner to really be involved. Its not visible and its not a physical part of them like it is for us women. He was of course crushed by the experience, but he mourned my pain more than his. It was hard for him to watch me so emotionally and physically tortured. A miscarriage is not a pain free thing in ANY way... You would think at least physically it wouldn't have to be so well excruciating... Anyway that's the least of the worst. Its just hard. Its hard to see pregnant women and friends going along with healthy pregnancy and although I wouldn't wish this upon even my worst enemy, I do get jealous. i have to man up and admit that... Its hard not to think, whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with my reproductive system to cause this? Will I ever have a healthy child?
Okay enough... I have to stop myself from these thoughts, they really do drive me INSANE. I am a 22 year old girl, in school working on a college degree and building up a promising career in the skin care industry. I have to believe that God gave me this visitor to show me that I do one day want to set time aside to have children, but there is still too much to do in order to provide the life I have always wanted for my kids. I want to be able to afford activities at a young age for them, a stable home without a mountain of debt, undivided attention on them and not on myself. Which the case at my age, my attention is on myself unfortunately... Not on my wants necessarily but on my goals in order to make my dreams of my future children possible.
R.I.P My little Angel in heaven... Thank you for putting everything in prospective for me. You were so special that God needed you now for his kingdom and for his work and I will see you one day.
I wont go into the drama that doesnt involve me directly but does affect me but here are things I am willing to share...
JP and I moved to San Luis Obispo in May of this year. We are getting settled in and are really loving the area... It was a definite rocky start however...
In late May I took a pregnancy test for the heck of it because one was lying around and to my surprise it came up with one scary word... Pregnant.
I had the strangest reaction. I had taken quite a few of these things but it has never said this before. I was kind of shocked and not in a good way, but I quickly got over it once I started telling people and getting it off my chest. I took two more and they were negative... I was super confused.
So I went to the doctor and it was confirmed that I after all WAS pregnant and due in January... It started to sink in and I was starting to think about names and get excited. We bought baby books and reading together what was going on each week in the pregnancy. We decided if it was a boy with would be Anthony Elijah and if it were a girl Madyson Paige..
Everything seemed to be going great until 4th of July. I was at my dads house minding my own business, went for one of my normal million pee breaks and there it was.. a streak of blood... This is not a comfortable sight when you are expecting at all. I tried to stay positive although I couldn't stop crying, deep down I knew... Our doctors appt. was in a few days and of all weekends Monday was a holiday, ugh! My OB tried to keep me calm and explain to me bleeding can be very normal blah blah but she couldn't find a heart beat and I was supposed to be 11 weeks. I was sent for an emergency ultra sound and our worst fear was confirmed... The baby only "developed" i hate these terms, to 6 weeks. I had a missed miscarriage because I carried until 11 weeks... Over a month I had a failed pregnancy and had no idea.
So I went from being freaked out about my pregnancy to being ecstatic all the way to devastated in a few short months. I drew comfort from other women who had gone through it and had no words of wisdom to pass down. There is nothing anybody can do or say, its a life that ended before it began and its a part of you. Its hard to explain and its something I don't think I will ever get over... But although I wont get over it, I have learned and overcame it.. if that makes sense.
Because I was so early its really hard for your partner to really be involved. Its not visible and its not a physical part of them like it is for us women. He was of course crushed by the experience, but he mourned my pain more than his. It was hard for him to watch me so emotionally and physically tortured. A miscarriage is not a pain free thing in ANY way... You would think at least physically it wouldn't have to be so well excruciating... Anyway that's the least of the worst. Its just hard. Its hard to see pregnant women and friends going along with healthy pregnancy and although I wouldn't wish this upon even my worst enemy, I do get jealous. i have to man up and admit that... Its hard not to think, whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with my reproductive system to cause this? Will I ever have a healthy child?
Okay enough... I have to stop myself from these thoughts, they really do drive me INSANE. I am a 22 year old girl, in school working on a college degree and building up a promising career in the skin care industry. I have to believe that God gave me this visitor to show me that I do one day want to set time aside to have children, but there is still too much to do in order to provide the life I have always wanted for my kids. I want to be able to afford activities at a young age for them, a stable home without a mountain of debt, undivided attention on them and not on myself. Which the case at my age, my attention is on myself unfortunately... Not on my wants necessarily but on my goals in order to make my dreams of my future children possible.
R.I.P My little Angel in heaven... Thank you for putting everything in prospective for me. You were so special that God needed you now for his kingdom and for his work and I will see you one day.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Growing up....Always support those you love
So today JP and I signed our first lease to rent our first apartment...
JP and I have been married since we were 19 years old and together since we were 16... We are 21 going on 22 years old now. We have been through a lot together. We have grown up in conservative homes so living together before we were married was not even a option, one of the reasons that drove us to get married so soon...
However we don't regret it.
Getting married was the best thing that we ever did. It made us grow up and get serious about what we really wanted in life. Not having children yet has made this a lot easier for us. JP got a job transfer to a new county and its really exciting and was doable. We still have dreams and we push each other toward them and support each other ever step of the way.
I truly think that our society dumbs and holds back teenagers and young adults. We are constantly told: don't be in serious relationships, don't get married until you are 30, travel the world and experience life first, have your parents put you through college etc.
I believe that those experiences mean so much more when you are in a committed relationship with the person you love most in the world who is also your best friend... If you believe you have found it hold on to it and don't second guess it for worldly reasons. I could never go through school without the support of my husband and traveling would be way less fun or meaningful without him. We each bring something very different to each others lives. He brings adventure and security to our lives and I bring conversation and goals.
JP and I were not always the perfect couple, we had our issues and every person has problems. However God can fix anything if you give it to him. We would not be the people we are today without the Lord, each others support and with our family believing in us getting our lives together. They never lost hope in us and never held our past mistakes against our future. And we thank you all for that... You know who you are..
Life does not end when you are married it begins. If you have a goal set ahead of you and both of you hold each other accountable you can go anywhere in life.
Growing up is good...It is hard but so worth it.
JP and I have been married since we were 19 years old and together since we were 16... We are 21 going on 22 years old now. We have been through a lot together. We have grown up in conservative homes so living together before we were married was not even a option, one of the reasons that drove us to get married so soon...
However we don't regret it.
Getting married was the best thing that we ever did. It made us grow up and get serious about what we really wanted in life. Not having children yet has made this a lot easier for us. JP got a job transfer to a new county and its really exciting and was doable. We still have dreams and we push each other toward them and support each other ever step of the way.
I truly think that our society dumbs and holds back teenagers and young adults. We are constantly told: don't be in serious relationships, don't get married until you are 30, travel the world and experience life first, have your parents put you through college etc.
I believe that those experiences mean so much more when you are in a committed relationship with the person you love most in the world who is also your best friend... If you believe you have found it hold on to it and don't second guess it for worldly reasons. I could never go through school without the support of my husband and traveling would be way less fun or meaningful without him. We each bring something very different to each others lives. He brings adventure and security to our lives and I bring conversation and goals.
JP and I were not always the perfect couple, we had our issues and every person has problems. However God can fix anything if you give it to him. We would not be the people we are today without the Lord, each others support and with our family believing in us getting our lives together. They never lost hope in us and never held our past mistakes against our future. And we thank you all for that... You know who you are..
Life does not end when you are married it begins. If you have a goal set ahead of you and both of you hold each other accountable you can go anywhere in life.
Growing up is good...It is hard but so worth it.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
We are falling in a trap... (Cosmetics industry)
When you are watching tv what do you see.... COMMERCIALS!!! On all sorts of things that seem to be essential things. The industry knows women, we want make up and skin care. Better yet we need make up and skin care. Why do we so desperately need it? Because in today's environment its close to impossible to have true healthy skin with all the pollution and sun and bad hygiene habits.
We fell into the Covergirl, Maybeline, Neutrogena, Revlon, Olay trap to name a few...
Why are these traps? They have simplified what your skin really needs, they are constantly coming out with miracle products, whether its a acne fighting foundation? A cream you put on your eyes and all crows feet and puffiness disappears. So what do you do? Well we buy it... Maybe you see a smidgen of results but then it just ends up being another half full tub of cream in your medicine cabinet. Most of the time it further enhances your problems by clogging your pores and making your skin heavy and saggy. You are left buying more, searching for more spending a heck of a lot of money on what seems to be "economically friendly" products. Its not cheap, you end up spending more and then none at all because you give up.
This is not the TRUE skin care industry. Go to a Spa and invest $100 on the essentials of product. Cleanser, Toner, Moisturizer and a good quality SPF. These will last you, you will see results, and they wont end up half full in your medicine cabinet because you made an investment that is paying off every day.
Here are products I recommend:
GloTherapeutics (results oriented, professional grade, active ingredients to target different skin problems)
Image (Simple line, organic ingredients and used in many medical spas for results and anti aging properties)
Dermalogica (One of the more commercial of the professional skin care lines, however beats drug store products %100. Plenty of different skin typing products to use what is best for YOUR skin)
Murad (Another one of the more commercial and advertised, made up of a high concentration of active ingredients for quick and rich results)
So this is what it comes down to... Your skin is not the same as everybody's. Some are oily, dry, sensitive, mature, hyper-pigmented, congested, rosacea, photo-damaged, sun damaged, some are all! The list goes on and on. The Neutrogena cleanser is not going to treat this. I dont just mean Neutrogena specifically but all drug store skin care. If you can buy it off a shelf where they sell food dont buy it.
Save $130 from your next check or two and invest in your skin. You will be happier, confident and have your true skin back.
We fell into the Covergirl, Maybeline, Neutrogena, Revlon, Olay trap to name a few...
Why are these traps? They have simplified what your skin really needs, they are constantly coming out with miracle products, whether its a acne fighting foundation? A cream you put on your eyes and all crows feet and puffiness disappears. So what do you do? Well we buy it... Maybe you see a smidgen of results but then it just ends up being another half full tub of cream in your medicine cabinet. Most of the time it further enhances your problems by clogging your pores and making your skin heavy and saggy. You are left buying more, searching for more spending a heck of a lot of money on what seems to be "economically friendly" products. Its not cheap, you end up spending more and then none at all because you give up.
This is not the TRUE skin care industry. Go to a Spa and invest $100 on the essentials of product. Cleanser, Toner, Moisturizer and a good quality SPF. These will last you, you will see results, and they wont end up half full in your medicine cabinet because you made an investment that is paying off every day.
Here are products I recommend:
GloTherapeutics (results oriented, professional grade, active ingredients to target different skin problems)
Image (Simple line, organic ingredients and used in many medical spas for results and anti aging properties)
Dermalogica (One of the more commercial of the professional skin care lines, however beats drug store products %100. Plenty of different skin typing products to use what is best for YOUR skin)
Murad (Another one of the more commercial and advertised, made up of a high concentration of active ingredients for quick and rich results)
So this is what it comes down to... Your skin is not the same as everybody's. Some are oily, dry, sensitive, mature, hyper-pigmented, congested, rosacea, photo-damaged, sun damaged, some are all! The list goes on and on. The Neutrogena cleanser is not going to treat this. I dont just mean Neutrogena specifically but all drug store skin care. If you can buy it off a shelf where they sell food dont buy it.
Save $130 from your next check or two and invest in your skin. You will be happier, confident and have your true skin back.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Moving away? Life changing....
Well JP and I are to be moving to SLO county in the next few weeks. We are looking for a place in hopes of JP's company helping us. He is working on a very important job up there and needs to be in the area to get there early and to truly be dedicated to the new project. This is very exciting, yet scary.... We are just having full faith in the Lord that he will provide us with a place and the means to get in there. We have a place we are very interested in and would love to live in, but thats just the first step. There are many other steps, the scary steps, into getting in. We just want prayer that it all works out according to the steps and we start our new life....
So JP is set, hes got a great job up there and we can do it with his income alone, however that is not my personality. Right now with my esthetician license I am in love with doing facial treatments. I also invested in professional product to use in Lola Bella in Carpinteria but now our life has taken a change. So $600 dollars of product is mine, but no place to use it and no clientele to support a rent space for me... It will be a whole new area, so the possibilities are endless... I would love prayer in this area of my life to get a job and to contribute financially. God is good to us so I know everything will work out...
Hopefully in the next semester I can go to school up there, finish my AA degree and transfer to CAL Poly for the nutrition program... Sigh
I love being young....
So JP is set, hes got a great job up there and we can do it with his income alone, however that is not my personality. Right now with my esthetician license I am in love with doing facial treatments. I also invested in professional product to use in Lola Bella in Carpinteria but now our life has taken a change. So $600 dollars of product is mine, but no place to use it and no clientele to support a rent space for me... It will be a whole new area, so the possibilities are endless... I would love prayer in this area of my life to get a job and to contribute financially. God is good to us so I know everything will work out...
Hopefully in the next semester I can go to school up there, finish my AA degree and transfer to CAL Poly for the nutrition program... Sigh
I love being young....
Friday, April 16, 2010
My diet, back full storm! Lets do this!
Okay so I took a break from giving some diet advice... lol Not only from giving it but also living it. JP and I went camping, splurged on carbs galore and that actually seemed to be the trend in my life for about the last month. Even though I was eating whole grain I still gained 5 lbs because I was eating carbs for every meal... that took me from 100-105. Not bad but I could see the extra baggage if you know what I mean. Crazy when you are aware of your body how you can see it change much easier than when you are overweight.
So I have decided to take on the Makers Diet full storm. If you have not read this diet book you really should. If you have weight problems or even overall health problems. Diabetes, high cholesterol, Crohns (thats what the writer had) you really should read this book. I have read a lot of diet books let me tell you: The South Beach Diet, The Susan Somers diet book, The Zone, and lots of little blurbs and facts online. With all of that in my head and I then read The Makers Diet... Changed my life forever. It just made sense...
So I am on phase one. NO carbs, just good fats, protein and veggies. This is recommended when you want to loose some pounds and inches. I only need to drop about 5. Im 5'0 so keep in mind 100 lbs is a healthy weight for me. Google your BMI and this will tell you where you are at with your height and your weight.
My diet plan for the day:
Morning workout (DVD of Jillian Michaels)
Breakfast:
Jackies shake
Organic hemp protein (3 tbsp)
Vitamin D Milk (6 oz.)
Organic Crushed flax seed (2 tbs)
Ice
So yummy, filling and rejuvenating
Lunch:
Tuna (1 can)
Organic Mayo (1 tbsp)
Organic celery (2 sticks)
Organic scallion onions (1 scallion)
seasoned with pepper and organic garlic powder
Snack:
Organic raw almond butter (about 2 tbsp)
Organic baby carrots (1 cup)
Dinner:
I will be preparing
Boneless skinless chicken (marinated in olive oil, balsamic vinegar and seasonings)
Brussel sprouts browned in organic butter infused with garlic and onions, seasoned with salt n peper, garlic powder and then topped with crumbled goat cheese....
For dessert:
Organic Strawberries and blue berries in goats milk yogurt (plain) topped with some raw, uncooked honey. (In the Makers Diet, he says its not good to cut all fruit out completely when you are not doing carbs. Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries and grapefruit are okay.)
Okay so I really like to do an Organic diet, you truly cant beat the quality and its just overall better for you. I have been at this since Monday this week. I have lost 2 lbs in about 3 days and it seems so little but that is very noticeable. Especially when do you dont have that much to loose, If you do..... Its better than gaining another 2 in 3-4 days am I right?
PS
Please Order this book
The Makers Diet
by Jordan Reuben
So I have decided to take on the Makers Diet full storm. If you have not read this diet book you really should. If you have weight problems or even overall health problems. Diabetes, high cholesterol, Crohns (thats what the writer had) you really should read this book. I have read a lot of diet books let me tell you: The South Beach Diet, The Susan Somers diet book, The Zone, and lots of little blurbs and facts online. With all of that in my head and I then read The Makers Diet... Changed my life forever. It just made sense...
So I am on phase one. NO carbs, just good fats, protein and veggies. This is recommended when you want to loose some pounds and inches. I only need to drop about 5. Im 5'0 so keep in mind 100 lbs is a healthy weight for me. Google your BMI and this will tell you where you are at with your height and your weight.
My diet plan for the day:
Morning workout (DVD of Jillian Michaels)
Breakfast:
Jackies shake
Organic hemp protein (3 tbsp)
Vitamin D Milk (6 oz.)
Organic Crushed flax seed (2 tbs)
Ice
So yummy, filling and rejuvenating
Lunch:
Tuna (1 can)
Organic Mayo (1 tbsp)
Organic celery (2 sticks)
Organic scallion onions (1 scallion)
seasoned with pepper and organic garlic powder
Snack:
Organic raw almond butter (about 2 tbsp)
Organic baby carrots (1 cup)
Dinner:
I will be preparing
Boneless skinless chicken (marinated in olive oil, balsamic vinegar and seasonings)
Brussel sprouts browned in organic butter infused with garlic and onions, seasoned with salt n peper, garlic powder and then topped with crumbled goat cheese....
For dessert:
Organic Strawberries and blue berries in goats milk yogurt (plain) topped with some raw, uncooked honey. (In the Makers Diet, he says its not good to cut all fruit out completely when you are not doing carbs. Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries and grapefruit are okay.)
Okay so I really like to do an Organic diet, you truly cant beat the quality and its just overall better for you. I have been at this since Monday this week. I have lost 2 lbs in about 3 days and it seems so little but that is very noticeable. Especially when do you dont have that much to loose, If you do..... Its better than gaining another 2 in 3-4 days am I right?
PS
Please Order this book
The Makers Diet
by Jordan Reuben
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Theres no better day than today...
So how are you all doing??? Are you feeling better? If so, that is the point... Loosing weight is more than just looking good, you have to be in this for overall health. You will feel and be more active, and you hair and skin will look much more vibrant as a result.
Here is my meal plan for the day, again this is what I do :)
Jackies Breakfast:
Oatmeal 1/2 cup with sliced banana and strawberries in. Sweeten with honey and a dash of vanilla
1 small cup of coffee
Jackies Lunch:
Blended juice (3 stocks celery, 1 small carrot, 1/2 cucumber, 1 piece of tomato blended with strawberries and 3 oz. fresh squeezed organic orange juice.
(you can get this at a juice shop, if you are in Carpinteria, CAJE has this...
Jackies Snack:
1/2 organic, sprouted wheat bagel, with organic cream cheese on top
Jackies dinner:
1 cup organic whole wheat pasta, Organic Italian chicken sausage (from trader Joes) diced tomatoes and season to taste with organic olive oil.
Jackies Dessert:
1 sugar free jello with a little (light) whipped cream on top ;)
Remember portions that im using are for a girl who is 5'1 and 100 lbs. Keep your own person satisfaction in mind!!!
Love you all!!!
Here is my meal plan for the day, again this is what I do :)
Jackies Breakfast:
Oatmeal 1/2 cup with sliced banana and strawberries in. Sweeten with honey and a dash of vanilla
1 small cup of coffee
Jackies Lunch:
Blended juice (3 stocks celery, 1 small carrot, 1/2 cucumber, 1 piece of tomato blended with strawberries and 3 oz. fresh squeezed organic orange juice.
(you can get this at a juice shop, if you are in Carpinteria, CAJE has this...
Jackies Snack:
1/2 organic, sprouted wheat bagel, with organic cream cheese on top
Jackies dinner:
1 cup organic whole wheat pasta, Organic Italian chicken sausage (from trader Joes) diced tomatoes and season to taste with organic olive oil.
Jackies Dessert:
1 sugar free jello with a little (light) whipped cream on top ;)
Remember portions that im using are for a girl who is 5'1 and 100 lbs. Keep your own person satisfaction in mind!!!
Love you all!!!
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