19 Weeks

So we hit 19 weeks on Thursday and my belly has finally popped out! Ive been waiting forever it seems haha. Been feeling baby move pretty regularly, some days more than others but its all normal I guess. We are almost half way!! woo hoo!!

18 Weeks

So I hit 18 weeks on Thursday! :) i have been feeling the movement getting a little stronger but still waiting for it to get regular, but that wont be for another month or so. I had a check up at my OB office and heard baby's heartbeat which was 140 bpm. We also discussed the beginnings of a birth plan. I am getting pretty serious about a natural childbirth, No meds no epidural. Not because you get some award for this, I am just paranoid about risks and don't want to take any risks at all. It will be hard but its time to start preparing mentally now! I originally lost 9lbs in my first trimester but have gained 4 back since my last appt. So hopefully it will stay at this steady rate :) As for a bump everyone wants pictures but its just not very obvious yet.When I "pop" out then a picture will come up :)

17 Weeks! :)

Every week that we reach the next number feels like such a milestone. I went on vacation with my mom and sisters this week to Texas to see my grandpa and have been feeling a lot more movement. Especially the last couple days. Feels like a little pop and squirm. Today when JP and I were vegging out on the couch I started feeling pretty strong pokes and its always in the same area which is still pretty low. I grabbed his fingers to see if he could feel and he got kicked too and we both jumped! haha it was such a cool experience to share with him. I can only imagine that they are going to get stronger and more often in the weeks to come.

16 Weeks Preggo

So today I am officially in my 16th week according to my due date of September 8th. However at the ultrasound last week the tech said I was measuring a few days ahead, but they don't change the due date if its only within a few days.

My symptoms are inconsistent now that I am in the second trimester. As much as I want to say I am feeling all better and ready to jump around an clean I'm just not there yet. My nausea seems to come in the evening but it is very mild compared to what I went through the first 14 weeks, yikes... lol. It amazed me on our ultrasound last week to see that the baby grew so well because I lost 9lbs in the pregnancy and hardly was able to eat or drink anything. So now im starting to eat more on a regular basis and drink a lot more water. I often feel stretching in my tummy and am starting to feel those little flutters :) My tummy is poking out a bit too but with 5 more months still to go there is plenty of time for the real growing to start lol.

A touching moment the other day. JP and I went to Costco and he was all of a sudden overwhelmed with happiness and put his hand on my tummy and said "I love my little family :)" It was very cool. Because it is still early so it still doesn't feel real most days. I cant wait for the fun stuff in the next few months. Feeling those big kicks and having the belly that I cant hide!!

We Love You Baby J!! xoxoxo

Baby Jimenez Is on the Way!

I am currently 15 weeks pregnant in our second pregnancy! :)
As you can read below we had a missed miscarriage with our first pregnancy sadly in July.

After our loss we decided we wanted to try to have another baby. The first baby was a complete shock and we didn't know how bad we wanted that until it was too late. However I wouldn't change what happened for anything. I learned something very important through that experience. My feelings towards having children was that they are a sure thing and its just the next step in being married. Wrong....So wrong... Children are a blessing not a right. They are nothing short of a miracle from God.

The whole trying thing wasn't giving us any results for those couple months and it was very frustrating. I had a lot of stress with work, grief, school and marriage that adding the pressure of conceiving was a lot. I decided to go to acupuncture because I was at the end of my rope in stress and I heard it can help in conceiving. After the needles were put in me the therapist left me in a dim calm room for thirty minutes and I just began to pray. I gave it all to God and told him that I trust his plan for JP and I and trusted in him to give us a child when we are ready. This was in November. On December 31st New Years Eve, we received our positive pregnancy test. :)

This pregnancy has been rough for lack of a better word. First of all because of my previous loss my OB wanted me to come in right away. I had spotting which made me even more high risk despite my history. JP and I were prepared from the beginning because when you have a loss it changes the whole experience. The doctors sent me in for an Ultra Sound when I was 5 weeks along. This is very very early to see anything, but they just wanted to see what was going on and make sure all was developing correctly with my gestational sac. The tech told me she could see my yolk sac but no fetal pole, but not to worry since I was so early. The baby is smaller than a grain of rice at that point.

I went to my OB on the following Monday for a check up however I met with her family nurse practitioner. She was asking how I was feeling, blah blah. Telling me how happy she was for me that we were expecting again etc. I mentioned to her that I had the ultrasound and she had them fax her the results immediately. When she was reading the report she looked concerned, but I tried not to worry since it was my understanding that it was too early for good or bad news? She excused herself from the room to make a call... great.
When she came back she put her hand on my shoulder and told me flat out, "Im sorry its not a viable pregnancy." I was in shock, I didn't prepare myself THIS early for this kind of news. I'm not a crier especially in front of strangers but I just couldn't help myself. I just didn't feel like I could go through this again and in such a short time. She diagnosed me with a blighted ovum saying that my gestational sac measured a week ahead in which they should have been able to see a fetal pole with cardiac activity. She left me to gather myself in the room. I threw my sunglasses on and darted out of the office.
When I got outside I couldn't help but sob. I asked God why? Why is this happening to me again? I called JP and he was shocked. This was supposed to be a standard check up for me, no news no drama. He came right home to be with me and I just cried in his arms on the sofa. Lots and lots of tears that night.

Nobody knew we were pregnant I wanted to keep it a secret until my second trimester, but i told my mom what happened and she was shocked and saddened. I also had to go do blood work so they could monitor my blood levels to see if and when a D&C would be necessary. Early one morning the nurse called me and said they got the blood results back and she was "concerned" because my hcg levels were VERY high. So she scheduled an ultrasound for me so we could see what was going on... again... I didn't have a ride and my mom offered to drive me and she lives two hours away. So I was very grateful. I felt like it was a waste of money for me to get the ultrasound and I wasn't feeling well due to my high hormone levels. I didn't feel up to the tech confirming the news once again. So we went and I got on that table, the same one where I received the news about my first miscarriage mind you in July... My mom and I are sitting there while the tech is looking and taking measurements and then she turns this sound on and we heard a fast little blub blub blub noise. I was like hmmm guess thats my heartbeat. She then left the room to grab the radiologist and he came in and took a look at something and they turned the noise on again same noise. And he said "yep there it is." And I was like uh there what is? My baby was alive and measuring right on at 6 weeks where it was supposed to be... My mom cried and I was in shock. What a week man... haha There was another little lesson from the Lord that these doctors are not God and they make mistakes. Faith and hope is what has gotten me through the rest of this pregnancy.

So after all that I refuse to see the nurse at my doctors practice. I only work with my Dr. who is amazing and never would have given me that hopeless news that early on in a pregnancy. My hormone levels have been on the high side that made my doctor even question if there was another little one hiding in there somewhere lol. But that's not the case lol. I have had terrible morning sickness that just barely let up at 14 weeks. At 15 weeks Im starting to show and we had an ultrasound at 15 weeks that showed our adorable little munchkin. Keep following to see all the progress of this little one! We should find out what he or she is next month!

A Crazy Thing Called Life

Since living here in San Luis Obispo my life has changed a lot. I have really started getting a move on in this thing called life. If you read my last post you will know what I was consumed with the first few months but since then I have really cracked down on figuring out what I want to do with my life here.

My husband has a great job that he loves and that supports all of our means, we are truly blessed. However it is not my personality to sit around and just reap my husband benefits. I have so many interests and so many dreams and I'm just trying to figure out how to tie them together to make some sort of sense...

I decided to take an entry level position in a resort even though I had gone to school and passed a program AND passed a state board... crazy I know. All I know is when you are fresh out of school and are new in a field you tend to doubt yourself. All I was filled with was doubt... Nobody is going to hire me. I have no clientele and I am new to an industry that is filled with knowledge....

I figured I will never make it in the industry I chose so may as well do something that doesn't matter and fill myself with more school. So now I find myself working full time while taking 4 classes of general ed online... Not smart.

Don't get me wrong, I KNOW taking school all the way is very smart, but there is no shame in pacing yourself. Every bodies situations are different in life, we all grow up differently. I grew up being understanding that I need to pay my own way once your 18 and well there is no way I could have put myself through a university when I was 18.

Unlike most 19 year olds I got married to a man who is willing to sacrifice his body and his young adult life to take care of his lady... lol I know I get some credit though too. I work hard as a wife and we really make a great team.

Long story short I evaluated my current situation. Too many classes and a full time dead end job. I needed to go after my dream and focus on my career that is right in front of me right now. I was hired into a small skin care salon and I couldn't be happier. I will continue to take college classes while I figure out what major can take me further in my chosen career but maybe one or two at a time ;)

Starting Over after miscarriage...

This year has been an insanely weird year...

I wont go into the drama that doesnt involve me directly but does affect me but here are things I am willing to share...

JP and I moved to San Luis Obispo in May of this year. We are getting settled in and are really loving the area... It was a definite rocky start however...

In late May I took a pregnancy test for the heck of it because one was lying around and to my surprise it came up with one scary word... Pregnant.

I had the strangest reaction. I had taken quite a few of these things but it has never said this before. I was kind of shocked and not in a good way, but I quickly got over it once I started telling people and getting it off my chest. I took two more and they were negative... I was super confused.

So I went to the doctor and it was confirmed that I after all WAS pregnant and due in January... It started to sink in and I was starting to think about names and get excited. We bought baby books and reading together what was going on each week in the pregnancy. We decided if it was a boy with would be Anthony Elijah and if it were a girl Madyson Paige..

Everything seemed to be going great until 4th of July. I was at my dads house minding my own business, went for one of my normal million pee breaks and there it was.. a streak of blood... This is not a comfortable sight when you are expecting at all. I tried to stay positive although I couldn't stop crying, deep down I knew... Our doctors appt. was in a few days and of all weekends Monday was a holiday, ugh! My OB tried to keep me calm and explain to me bleeding can be very normal blah blah but she couldn't find a heart beat and I was supposed to be 11 weeks. I was sent for an emergency ultra sound and our worst fear was confirmed... The baby only "developed" i hate these terms, to 6 weeks. I had a missed miscarriage because I carried until 11 weeks... Over a month I had a failed pregnancy and had no idea.

So I went from being freaked out about my pregnancy to being ecstatic all the way to devastated in a few short months. I drew comfort from other women who had gone through it and had no words of wisdom to pass down. There is nothing anybody can do or say, its a life that ended before it began and its a part of you. Its hard to explain and its something I don't think I will ever get over... But although I wont get over it, I have learned and overcame it.. if that makes sense.

Because I was so early its really hard for your partner to really be involved. Its not visible and its not a physical part of them like it is for us women. He was of course crushed by the experience, but he mourned my pain more than his. It was hard for him to watch me so emotionally and physically tortured. A miscarriage is not a pain free thing in ANY way... You would think at least physically it wouldn't have to be so well excruciating... Anyway that's the least of the worst. Its just hard. Its hard to see pregnant women and friends going along with healthy pregnancy and although I wouldn't wish this upon even my worst enemy, I do get jealous. i have to man up and admit that... Its hard not to think, whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with my reproductive system to cause this? Will I ever have a healthy child?

Okay enough... I have to stop myself from these thoughts, they really do drive me INSANE. I am a 22 year old girl, in school working on a college degree and building up a promising career in the skin care industry. I have to believe that God gave me this visitor to show me that I do one day want to set time aside to have children, but there is still too much to do in order to provide the life I have always wanted for my kids. I want to be able to afford activities at a young age for them, a stable home without a mountain of debt, undivided attention on them and not on myself. Which the case at my age, my attention is on myself unfortunately... Not on my wants necessarily but on my goals in order to make my dreams of my future children possible.

R.I.P My little Angel in heaven... Thank you for putting everything in prospective for me. You were so special that God needed you now for his kingdom and for his work and I will see you one day.